September 21, 2012 by admin
You know those moments when you remember the care-free, sweet days you took for granted pre-kid(s) and you wish you could have saved them for those awful times that the planets align to turn your kids into alien monsters whose only mission is to make you want to scream in the parking lot of the grocery store? It was that type of day. I was also a little frazzled after the morning class I went to with the kids where I’d worn a dress by accident and I didn’t realize we’d be doing yoga-esque moves in front of a giant mirror. And then we ran into an old preschool friend outside the school and as I was talking and catching up with their mom one of the boys had a pee emergency and I thought we could almost make it but then I ended up with pee on my shoe in the bathroom. (Not mine of course. And I was wearing TOMS) So when we pulled up to the grocery store and saw not one but three of those awesome orange and yellow car carts that save mommas lives all over the world I was in absolute heaven. Someone up there must definitely be looking out for me. (These are the ones we found in Costa Rica. They are EVERYWHERE!!!)
But my kids did not get the saving momma memo and all of a sudden the cars were not containment vehicles but garbage trucks that they needed to try and fill with things in the grocery store. This was devastating because not only did I realize that my days with these cars are numbered, I was stuck in a grocery store with manic garbage car drivers who could not be controlled. I frantically tried to herd my children, stop the garbage collecting and get out of the store. And then we got to the checkout and there was a brawl inside the garbage truck/orange car/now-turned-police wagon and I had to break it up. Thankfully I had managed to bring my grocery bags, so the sweet checkout lady and her helper began to bag my groceries as I stopped the kerfuffle. And that is when the ultimate horrific grocery conversation began:
“What a great idea….”
“Yeah, I’d never think to bring in garbage bags.”
“You throw them out anyways….”
Garbage bags????!!!! Somehow I had mistakenly grabbed a bag we used camping and it was filled with garbage bags. But it was too late. I tried to offer to pay for new bags. I pleaded that they stop. I tried to empty the bags they’d filled to help fix the situation. But the speedy bagging duo head-nodded at the line that was forming behind me. I had to admit defeat and leave.
Yes, thank you. Thank you very much.
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